…to get my knee right and start running to train for the City 2 Surf.
Before today the last 2 visits to the surgeon resulted firstly in a scan that came up clear with no further damage and seeming improvement, then a script for more anti-inflams with the confident assurance it would come good.
But to cut a long story short, the last week has shown that the way it’s been going post-arthroscopy, the presence or absence of this kind of medication in my body is basically the sole determinant of how it feels. There was a false dawn when I visited Queensland soon after the last checkup, when I was able to walk for 60-90 minutes without it getting too sore. Then another one as the physio encouraged me to start running a bit. There were 3 days at one stage when I was able to run for 15 minutes, then 20, then 30 – but the 4th day it felt no good. In the end, any apparent improvement was all due to the pills that masked the problem. After swallowing yet another 2 packets of Voltarin over about a month and a half and running out late last week, it has been just as sore, especially after a couple of hours of Ping Pong or even so much as a 20 minute walk, as it was just before the operation – maybe even worse, I can remember pulling up not too bad after a 5km walk just before going in.
Latest visit to the doc today – first time I’ve heard a doctor say “I’ve got no idea what’s going on”, and say that he’s basically out of ideas as to things he can do to fix it. And not only has he said he can’t really do anything more for me, he also says no-one else can either. There was even the grim hypothesis that I had early stage arthritis. Not something I need at my age. But there was one more thing to try. The cortisone injection I maybe should have got last time but that he said I didn’t need. I got it today. Direct targeted injection of an anti-inflam, right in the knee joint. That reduced the pain within minutes, and more than halved it within an hour. Now, late into the evening, it’s feeling even better, almost normal again though I’ve probably forgotten what that feels like. Wondering what I should do while I’ve got that relief from the drug which is clearly blocking most or all inflammation now. Would be tempting to “make hay while the sun shines” by getting some serious running happening, but he told me not to go crazy with it.
Don’t know how long this relief will last. Best case scenario is my stupid knee will get a break from inflammation, realise its no longer injured and stop blowing up at the slightest sign of any strenuous activity. But I’m not counting on it. Doc says it might end up being a long term thing, best managed by more medication, if this running thing is important to me (which is a bit like asking the question “do you want a life worth living?”). At the moment I don’t think I’ll be seeking more medical intervention, I’ve thrown enough money at these so-called experts to get nowhere with this. Maybe it will be like my other knee a few years ago, which when no problem could be found with a scan it eventually came good after 6 months of doing not much. I’ll be busy most or all of tomorrow. If it feels OK Sunday morning I might go for a short light run, and see how it goes. Utterly tokenistic from a fitness point of view but would do my mental health some good and worth it just for that.
Again I ask the Lord for a positive outcome, starting tonight, with a gradual return to serious running and no further pain. I’ve got no doubt he can do it, the one who raised Jesus from the dead as I was reminded of again over the wonderful Easter celebrations is able to fix anything. But I’m afraid past experience has shown he often for whatever reason just won’t. Call it lack of faith if you like, but for me faith tends to need to be evidence-based. Most importantly, there is evidence which points most strongly towards the actual, historical fact that Jesus conquered death and so his promise can be relied on to one day do the same for all of us as well, and that will be a great day. Much more on that, another day, I hope. In the imperfect interim, I pray and hope that my current small problem (though it looks big for me with the quality of life factor it utterly determines) is one of the ones he chooses to fix, and I live in hope that his time for doing so is “soon”. For now, following some logical reasoning, I put my relief entirely down to the work of cortisone. Maybe that’s one of the things he’ll choose to use.
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